A tribute to my Addie Joy
It’s going to be a busy week getting everything ready for my little princess’s first birthday, so I’m going to post this now, while I have a little time on my hands.
Reflections on this past year….
This was probably the craziest year in my whole life. Even crazier than after Aidan was born…by far! From the moment I found out I was pregnant, it’s been a whole rush of feelings and emotions. Excitement, fear, joy, pride, anxiety, love, frustration, tired, depressed, bliss, angry, pensive, tested, amused, overcome. I think that just scratches the surface of the roller coaster that I’ve experienced. My poor husband! But for all of this craziness, when I sit down and look at my little girl, my heart fills with such love and pride that I can’t even put it into words.
From our first days in the hospital, we began our bond. On our third night, Addie was in the nursery so that I could (attempt) a decent night of sleep. About an hour or two after falling asleep, the nurse brought her back into my room because she was fussy and needed a feeding. As the nurse was handing her to me, Addie’s eyes lit up once she saw me and stopped crying. It definitely struck me, but when the nurse said “Awww! She loves her mommy!”, I knew it wasn’t just the pain meds or lack of sleep talking. My little girl loved me, or at least recognized me, and it didn’t matter how tired I was. My heart swelled with love at that moment.
Once home, it wasn’t easy. No one expects it to be, but I think it took me a bit longer to adjust. There was the colic, then Jim had to switch shifts (which was so very hard for me), and I was diagnosed with a case of post partum depression. Never in my life had I ever felt so alone. Meanwhile, there was Aidan. He did such a good job being a good boy through the chaos. He has his moments, but he really is a good brother and I am so grateful. Then one day, Addie smiled. That smile lit up the room, and my spirits. Looking at her sweet little happy face at that moment made it all worth it.
Through the months, we had our ups and downs. We got through it though. We have all come together as a family and made it work. Addie has become such a fun, sweet, and beautiful girl. She makes me laugh and smile all day long. She is my social butterfly (at least as long as me or Jim are in her sight), my princess, my little monkey and a diva. I’m so proud of her and love her more than I can say.
Now, I’m sitting here on my bed. One year ago I was probably laying on the same bed, so nervous about adding another member to our family. Now we’ve done it, we made it to the first year and it is the most bittersweet feeling in the world.